The 4 R’s of Self-Care

Relax. Reclaim. Renegade. Relational Response.

Self-care isn’t a checklist of to-do's. It’s a conversation—between your body, your desire, your boundaries, and the relationships you’re embedded in.

The 4 R’s of Self-Care offer a living framework—one that flexes with seasons, moods, hormones, relationships, and the ever-changing weather of being human.

Let’s begin.

1️⃣ Regulation — Reset. Rest.

Exhausted? You know you probably need 3 days of sleep, but f*cK! Not likely. So now you are pissed and weary.

Relax!? It's a process, not a button.

Often, that stress-chemistry in your blood needs to be addressed before you can

access that radical medicine of 'flat-on-floor, eyes-closed, pause-of-peace'

But sometimes?Gotta allow the nervous system digest/shit-out the stress before it lands.

What actually relaxes you might look like a sweat-fest (at first).

A hard walk. A wild dance. A furious clean-out.

A song you blast so loud your shoulders finally drop.

And then you can drink in the 'la-la-land' with your head on a pillow.

So how do you choose?

🔑 Desire is the key.

Not obligation.Not aesthetics.Not what “should” calm you.

Ask instead: What does my body want to discharge or digest right now?

Relaxation is regulation—and regulation happens through stillness or motion, depending on what your system is holding.

2️⃣ Reclaim — You Get to Matter

Reclaiming begins with space and time.

Not the leftovers. Not the margins after everyone else is fed, fixed, and satisfied.

Reclaiming is a declaration:

I matter enough to take up room in my own life.

It’s reclaiming your power to:

• want

• choose

• desire

• receive

• deserve joy (and all its wild derivations)

  
  

Reclaiming is not selfish. It’s restorative justice for the self.

When you reclaim your inner territory,

you stop negotiating your worth with exhaustion as currency.

3️⃣ Renegade — The Playful Rebel

Here lives the mischievous one. The naughty spark.

The part of you that grins sideways at the rules.

Renegade energy isn’t about burning things down—

it’s about exploration with a flirtatious wink.

It might look like:

• doing something impractical on purpose

• dressing for pleasure instead of approval

• saying no with delight

• saying yes with curiosity

• breaking a pattern just to see who you become

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This is badass self-care—not because it’s loud, but because it’s alive.

The Renegade says:

I am not here to be manageable. I’m here to be true.

4️⃣ Relational Response — Self-Care in the Wild

Self-care doesn’t end when another human enters the room.

In fact—this is where it gets real.

Relational selfhood is the art of witnessing connection and disconnection without

abandoning yourself.

It’s noticing:

• when you tighten

• when you appease

• when you go silent

• when you over-explain

• when desire goes underground

And then choosing to respond—not react—

from emotional, sensual, desire-infused attunement.

Relational self-care asks:

How do I influence this dynamic by staying authentic?

This is not about control. It’s about presence.

When you tend your inner state, your relationships reorganize around truth.

Bringing the 4 R’s Together

Self-care is not a single act—it’s a MAP that guides you home to yourSELF:

• Relax to regulate

• Reclaim your right to matter

• Renegade to stay alive

• Relationally respond with integrity

And then—repeat (is that another R?? lol!).

This is self-care that breathes & wiggles & jiggles. Self-care that dances. Self-care that shows up in conversations, choices, and desire.

✨ If you want to practice the 4 R’s in embodied, creative ways—you’re invited into the Badass Self-Care rituals, challenges, and community. START HERE

Because your life doesn’t need more discipline.

It needs attunement, permission, and a little rebellion 💛