Ten Takeaways from Badassery (a love note to your future self)

Here’s the distilled wisdom from our latest Selfcare Challenge—a pep talk for your wild, romantic, truth-telling self.

1) Badassery isn’t domination or manipulation

Being a badass isn’t about steamrolling people or playing chess with their feelings. It’s about integrity. You don’t need to posture or perform; you need to align. Power with, not power over.

2) True power is influence, not control

Control is brittle. Influence is alive. Control forces outcomes; influence invites them. When you lead with empathy, clarity, and embodied presence, people (and possibilities) respond without you white-knuckling the process.

3) Self-care = showing up, not checking out

Real self-care is presence: breath in your body, eyes on the moment, heart available. It’s the micro-choices—drink water, unclench jaw, say no, ask for help—that keep your nervous system resourced so your courage has somewhere to land.

4) We heal in connection

You’re not meant to do the heavy lifting alone. Co-regulation, shared laughter, honest tears—these are medicines. Curate your circle: cheerleaders, truth-speakers, soft places to land. Community is a self-care tool.

5) Joy and grief can sit at the same table

Badass women hold both: the thunder and the birdsong. You don’t have to be “fine” to be powerful. You’re powerful because you can feel fully and keep moving in love.

6) Authenticity may ruffle feathers—do it anyway

Your truth might make some people uncomfortable. That’s not failure; that’s clarity. When you stop shrinking to fit, you make room for aligned relationships, real opportunities, and the pleasure of being known.

7) Self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all

What nourishes you will be specific to you. Build your own ritual library: slow walks, sensual movement, kitchen dance breaks, five-minute meditations, boundary practice. Iterate. If it doesn’t feed you, it’s not self-care—it’s branding.

8) Flirt with your life (yes, really)

Flirtation is playful presence. Wink at the mirror. Sway with the music. Compliment your coffee spoon. This isn’t about performance; it’s about waking up your senses and reminding your body that delight is allowed here.

9) Humor softens the hard edges

When the message is intense, bring a little mischief. Laughing at the chaos doesn’t deny its weight—it gives your system a pressure valve so the wisdom can land.

10) “Ever better days” is a powerful direction

Meliora—ever better. Aim your life toward incremental goodness: one breath, one boundary, one brave choice at a time. Momentum loves small, repeatable wins.

Try this: a 5-minute integration

1. Name one truth you’re done hiding.

2. Choose one micro-care you’ll practice today (water, breath, movement, honest no).

3. Send one signal of connection (text a friend, book a circle, ask for support).

4. Flirt once (with your reflection, your tea steam, your favorite sweater).

5. Whisper your intention: Ever better, ever truer, ever more me.

Badass takeaway

You don’t have to be harder—you have to be truer. Influence over control. Connection over isolation. Presence over perfection. Joy and grief, hand in hand, walking you home.

When in doubt, slow your pace, feel your body, and ask:What would make this one moment a little more alive? Then do that, unapologetically.