🔥 The Day the “Fuck-Off Spell” Became Selfcare

(A short story about my one minute of irreverence)

It was a regular Tuesday. Not an extreme-drama-cinematic Tuesday — just the kind of day where the universe feels like it’s throwing more spitballs at my sanity.

Three nasty to-do's waiting. Two crises brewing. One person breathing like a tractor near me. And absolutely zero patience left in my emotional savings account.

My nervous system felt like hot Jell-O. My halo was slipping. And if one more person said “just breathe,”I was going to breathe fire.

So there I stood — already halfway to 'defeated' in the middle of my kitchen — when it hit me: “Oh…today’s a Fuck-Off Spell day.”

I had the thought of 'nah...I don't want to go there.' but then I gave myself permission to abort it after 10 seconds, and rolled my shoulders back. And raised my middle finger with the precision of a warrior.

Then — I chanted it.The irreverent, sacred, ridiculous mantra:

“FfUuCcKk…OoOoFfFf…”

And right away, I was enjoying it. Drama-Queen. Opera-level commitment.

After 20 seconds — laughter bubbled. Not a polite giggle. A feral, uncontrollable, messy laugh that tumbled out of my chest and straightened my spine.

Something like freedom cracked open in my chest. My bones loosened & shifted.

So I kept going. Emotions ebbed and burst through my voice.

I opened my hands, and blew all the nonsense to the ether of the sky. A claim to liberation. A personal exorcism of decorum & expectations.

Then I rubbed my palms together, felt the warmthe spreading —and clapped three times like I was banishing a demon or summoning a magic broom.

And just like that…the air felt clearer. My mind unclenched. My breath actually returned and purred!

I felt like my soul had returned from its unpaid emotional labor.

It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t graceful. It was actually a comedy! But holy hell —it was magic.

Real magic. The kind that doesn’t ask permission. The kind that comes from a body saying,“I’m done pretending. Let’s reset.”

And in that moment,I realized something important:

Self-care isn’t always quiet. Sometimes it’s irreverent, feral, rebellious magic.

A spell you cast between your fingers, your courage, your laughter, & your truth.

So yes — the Fuck-Off Spell works. It clears energy. It unclutters your emotions.

It calls your power home.

And sometimes? It’s the only thing standing between you and the chaos trying to control your day.

Badass women don’t break. We spellcast. We reset. We reclaim.

One middle finger at a time.💋🔥