The Messy-Real of Self-Care (Paint on Your Hands, Not a Spa Brochure)

Last week, in a flush of 'fuck it' - I dipped my hands into paint and made a glorious mess. Smudges on my arms, streaks on my jeans, splatters on the floor. No filter. No tidy “after” picture. Just me, in the moment — messy, alive, and unapologetic.

That’s when it hit me: this is self-care.

Not the Pinterest-perfect checklists. Not the glossy Instagram version with candles and charcuterie boards.

But the raw, unfiltered truth that sometimes self-care looks like chaos.

• Self-care is grief running down your face while you plop spices into the soup.

• Self-care is laughing so hard with a friend that you forget your to-do list.

• Self-care is boredom tugging at your sleeve, whispering that you’ve starved your desire for too long - so you change your plans.

• Self-care is choosing to stop, just for a breath, instead of bulldozing through another “should.”

It’s messy. It’s real. And it doesn’t always look like what we were sold.

The world tells us that if we do it “right” — the bubble baths, the yoga, the bullet journals — we’ll feel fixed. But here’s the truth: there’s nothing to fix. Your desire is working just as it was created. You just need permission to tune it;)

What you are is hungry for your own aliveness.

And that aliveness can’t be found in a prepackaged formula. It comes from listening to yourself in the moment—even if what you need is ugly, loud, inconvenient,

or entirely un-Instagrammable.

So here’s my invitation: drop the fantasy of perfect self-care and come feast on the messy real with me.

💋 Join the 3-Day Selfcare Challenge, where we’ll explore unapologetic rituals to reclaim your energy, your desire, and your voice.

Because painted hands, tear-stained cheeks, belly laughs, and brave boundaries? That’s self-care, too. The Badassery Community is waiting for you!

Mini-Practice: Ask Your Messy Real

Take 2 minutes right now. Close your eyes. Drop the word should. Then ask yourself:

✨ What do I actually crave in this moment?

It might be a scream.It might be a nap.It might be chocolate, movement, silence, or texting a friend with zero small talk.

Give yourself that one real thing. No polish. No filter. Just you.